Disclaimer: These rules were not in any way authored by me. They were produced by a community of people. They are not in their original form because I had to eliminate a few to maintain a G rating.
Guys Rules for Girls
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! JUST SAY IT!
1. Yes, No, Maybe, and I don't Know are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. If it is broken we will either fix it or get a new one. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing" we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!
1. I AM in shape. ROUND is a shape.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
1. The next time you're tempted to say, "Men just don't get it", consider this: After seeing what it does to women, who would want it?
So... what did you think? I think they are pretty accurate! The last one is my favorite!
12 comments:
Those are great Seth! Though I do admit the last one is beyond my powers of comprehension... I'm struggling wrapping my mind around it. :)
Oh my! How true those all are! Love the sympathy one....SO true!!!;) I was laughing pretty hard!
Okay, I owe you. Give me a day or two and I'll give you something to laugh at.;)
To Ash:
Thanks! I laughed so hard when I first found them about a year and a half ago. Now, Reading them for the umteenth time still makes me laugh. hehe...
The last one always makes me chuckle, and I am sorry about your head hurting Ash. A word of advice, just accept it to be truth and don't try to understand it. ;)
To Les:
Yeah, I like the sympathy one too. :) And it is scarily accurate! That's how guys think. When a problem is presented, all powers of concentration are focused on the solution. Only if the solution is impossible will we even think about offering sympathy.
Most women are the opposite. They will offer sympathy first, then determine a solution. If a solution is not easily accessible, more sympathy is offered. *smile*
I will be "patiently" waiting Les...
I suppose that's why G- created men and women different...one to offer the sympathy and the other to offer the solution. It balances the world and a person does need both after all. Though I tend to think women need more sympathy than men.;)
Thanks for being patient...they're on their way soon!:)
That is great! KT sent it to me over e-mail not long ago...I laughed so hard....evern harder when I picture you saying them!! Ha! Ha!:) :)
hehe... Yes they were pretty funny. I laughed really hard when Les read them the first time too. haha...
Yes, Les. I do agree that women need more sympathy than men especially with all those slippery fish swimming around. :)
Very funny Seth! I can just picture you sitting at your little computer having the time of your life...I have no doubt you laughed hard! It was fun though....and no, I haven't forgotten my end of the deal.;)
Perhaps the fish should be less slippery so we wouldn't need all that sympathy!
haha... Les. You hit the nail on the head. Although your mental image is probably more elaborate and exciting.
As for the slippery fish, they just need some training to get a grip on them. It may be easier if they were tad poles! ;)
These too :).
Great! I liked these better than the other rules.
I found another comment I missed by Ag! Wait, what rules are we talking about now? Oh wait, never mind, I think I get it. Better check the other post.:)
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