The following is a joke I heard once.
There were two men going to heaven. One was a priest and the other was a lawyer. At the city gate, the gatekeeper calls out to them and invites them into heaven. While they were walking along, the priest says that he is a humble man and only requests a humble dwelling to lay his head. The gatekeeper nods his head and shows the priest to his home. After looking it over, the priest continues walking with the gatekeeper and the lawyer. The gatekeeper enters an elaborately decorated mansion and announces that this was the lawyers house. The priest, by this time, was getting a little jealous and asks the gatekeeper why the lawyer had been given such a spacious dwelling. The gatekeeper responds by saying that well "its because you are the 36th priest, and he is the first lawyer."
And the second one was sent to me by email.
There was a priest that was on his deathbed. As his last wish, he calls for Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid to be with him when he dies. So Nancy and Harry comply with his wish, and rush to his side. Wondering why he had summoned them and not someone else, they bid the priest explain himself. As the last breaths escaped him, he said that he did his best to pattern his life after Christ and thus greatly desired to die with two lying, thieves on his left and right side.
32 comments:
I was in need of a little humor after the week I had!
Yes, you have had a tough week, I am glad you enjoyed them.
How do you know I had a tough week?
That is what I have been told anyway. It sounds like your tough week is about to be tougher.
Oh dear. Do you know something I don't but should know? I think I would at least deserve a little heads up here! (and who told you btw?)
Its you Les! And you were the one that told me.
BTW, did the chat work? I noticed that you were online, and I tried chatting with you when you were on my blog.
Okay, okay, so you found me out. It was fun while it lasted.;)
Yeah, I saw the little chat box pop up and tried to chat with you but I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't type anything in the box. It was really getting anoying because I was TRYING to talk to you but couldn't and I'm thinking, he's going to think I'm totally rude and such a snob because I won't talk to him. And then I accidentally closed the box and then I thought oh great! Now he's going to get the picture that I don't want to talk to him and want him to just go away. And, since the box didn't appear again, I figured you'd given up on me.:) So...all that to say that YES I did see the box and YES I did want to chat with you...I'm just not smart enough to figure it out. But if you see me online again give it another shot. Or maybe, do you have skype?
Got it! Thanks...you can erase that now and next time I'm on skype I'll look ya up.:)
Yes, I realized after I had posted those comments that it was probably not good for my purposes to comment so close together as different people. Oh well, lesson learned. Maybe next time I'll do better.:)
Nice to know about the chat thing. I guess it wasn't just my lack of computer know-how.:)
hehe... You made two critical mistakes that pointed me directly to you.
Mistake No. 1: You used the same computer and the same browser to comment on both posts.
Mistake No. 2: You commented within a couple minutes of eachother using two different names. :)
Yeah, I found some neat free software that is supposed to allow me to chat with anyone that is visiting my blog anywhere in the world. hehe... I decided to make you my Ginnie pig. After trying it with you, I tested it out for myself and found it to be mostly broken. So don't feel bad, the software is still in beta and the Chat feature is not quite polished.
I also learned my lesson on being anonymous. I made several critical mistakes too.
1. I commented from Kansas while the K's were here. BAD BAD decision...
2. I used too big of words that led directly to me.
3. I couldn't keep a straight face after I heard A say that the next comment "he will be proposing."
hmmm, glad you two got that communication thing worked out. ;)
haha! Can't blame you there...don't think I could've kept a straight face either! Fortunetly for you, he didn't propose.;)
Yeah, that definitely would have significantly altered things. I should pass on your comment to him, I think he would get a kick out of it.
Yeah, Ash me too. It was approaching disaster rather rapidly.
By all means, pass it on. Whatever adds a little sunshine to someone's day.:)
Good communication is one of life's essentials. Too bad most married couples spend their entire life trying to figure it out. Really, it's quite simple...Just say what you mean, and mean what you say. How hard is that?
I will let him know. :)
Good communication is a necessity, but unfortunately we all have a life long disease. For those that have been given the cure, the medication is gradually showing its affects and has ultimately lessened their burden. But sadly, even married couples are affected. Honesty is simple to define but very difficult in practice. I wish it were easy.
You might find it humorous when I tell you the consequences of when I was a filthy liar. This was prolly ten years ago or a little more. I had lost my parents trust, my friends, even my sisters. So one day I lied about folding a basket of clothes. My parents had begun to lose hope and they decided to try a little experiment. As a punishment, they grounded me for a month.
This may sound normal, but let me explain. A lot of parents ground their children into their room, but instead I was ground outside of my room. I was given ten minutes to gather whatever I needed from my room and then it would be locked for a month!
I truly learned my lesson, partly through public humiliation and partly through embarrassment. I set up a make shift bed on some buckets with an old mattress and made a wall out of ping pong tables.
So in conclusion, I highly recommend this means of punishment for your children in the future. It is very effective.
Wow Seth! I had no idea about that former side of you! Obviously you've come a long way by God's grace and your parents help.:)
I have to say that I find it amusing that you were locked outside your room! I don't think I've ever heard of that being done before...how clever! I will have to remember that if I ever have such a situation. Or perhaps you could just come over and scare the little offender with your story and that just might do the trick too.;)
By the way, in case you are wondering. Your comments on a blog post more than ten days old have to be approved before they show up. I will increase it to 30 days just for you. :)
Yeah, thankfully I was a social reject during that time of my life. Very few people knew me besides family and close friends. It was that time of my life that I acted very spoiled and wanted things my way. But thankfully God has forgiven me and given me another chance!
I thought you might find that story amusing. I would be glad to come over and scare your little one up the wall! Call me anytime, provided you don't marry someone on the other side of the world. :)
All righty then...I'll make a note of that offer. And even if I did move halfway around the world, well, there are other ways to get your story across. Phone, webcam, blog, e-mail...you know all that technology...wonderful stuff! Then again, if I lived somewhere really interesting you just may be looking for an excuse to visit.:)
Wow! Don't I feel special! Like I said, I have no life outside of checking people's blogs.:D
I confess I was wondering what was up with that. I can't say as I blame you for approving first...knowing who reads your blog after all!;)
Just out of curiosity, does it ding only when someone first gets on or each time they go to a different post too? Poor K. I can't help but feel sorry for all the noise I've added to her life! Sorry K!!! :)
hehe... Yeah. There are always technological ways, but technology will never beat the face to face approach. If you do happen to live somewhere exotic, I just might have to take you up on the invitation. :)
The main reason for the approval was to prevent comment spam on old posts, but you are above such things!
Man Les, you are so mean to make K have to endure such ruckus! jk
Yeah- I have enough clamor in my life as it is... =P
JK- love ya Les. ;)
Haha! At least, you hope I am above such things Seth!;)
Love ya too K! Only a good friend does such things to their friends.;)
I like the post, Seth! :)
Thanks Angelica! Glad to see you found it. :)
Score #2 for Les!:)
Whoohoo! Found #3! :)
I guess Rachel hasn't found the third yet, has she :)?
Yes, she had. I was just slow to approve the comments. My fault!
Well, well, well, still playing 'treasure hunt' are we? You girls have fun! Let me know if you find a pile of gold. Meanwhile, I'll be slaving away in the land of responsibility.:)
But seriously girls...enjoy this time while you have it. It only comes around once and when it's gone, you don't get it back. Make it count! And...happy hunting!:D
haha... Let me know if you want more of a challenge with those treasure hunts. We can't have it be too easy for you. You know for all those hours of the day when you have nothing to do.
Oh and girls, never, never! lose your childhood discernment. Always be able to take one look at a stranger (ancient though they be) and know his or her character. Don't ever let the world deceive you with crooked smiles or fancy gifts, that disguise themselves and attempt to avert your attention away from your first impression.
Hmmm...perhaps I should 'funitize' things myself and leave some random comments somewhere to turn the tables here! *thinking it's MY turn to have some fun with this!*
I would agree! First impressions are often the right ones. (though, not always so don't pass judgement too quickly) But you can tell a lot about a person in a glance and 5 minutes. It's easy to be deceived...especially for girls. We ate the fruit first after all! So...as you search for your treasure, be discerning of those you meet along the way. If you're wise, you won't have to learn lessons the hard way.
Thanks for the advice!
Post a Comment